A letter to my daughters

A letter to my daughters

To my dearest girls, this is just a small journal of my learnings, and I hope it helps as a guide for you, as you grow and pave your journey through life. As I always say, you are the creator of your own destiny.

My first learnings for you, life doesn't happen in a step-by-step process, nor is it perfect. Chasing perfection will drive you mental and leave you disappointed. Enjoy all the mess, the imperfections and be “in it” with each moment. 

Build your own wealth, invest in a home, whether you live in it or not, and hold onto it like your life depends on it. It is an investment for your future. This is your key to forever having your own independence and freedom, even if it doesn't feel that way sometimes, when those bills come in. I don't want you to ever have to wait for a man to come and save you. 

As long as you have food on the table, a roof over your head and a shirt on your back, that's all you'll ever need when it comes to "things". Save your money and spend it wisely. Spend it on experiences. Travel the world, go to that musical, or cheer for your favourite football team every weekend if that's what sets your soul on fire. That's the sort of things that you take with you into your later years, not material things that wear down, date and fade away. 

Give what you can, when you can. It is the best feeling in the world. What goes around, comes around. Do be mindful of who you are giving your time to, though. 

You do not need a partner. Love yourself, create your own happiness and the rest will fall into place when you least expect it. Don’t let being coupled, be your goal in life. It’s just the sprinkles. You are the cake AND the icing!

If you wish to have children, you do not need a partner to do so. We’re blessed that we live in a time that you can achieve your goals of having a family without needing a partner. If you decide you do not want children, I also support that, and as long as you’re happy, I am too.  Don't tie yourself down to societal expectations or to anyone because you feel like you are running out of time. When you are still earthside, you are never running out of time, only wasting it, if it is with the wrong person.

Never let an employer treat you like you are trash. Stand your ground, speak your truth, and leave if it isn't serving you in a fulfilling way. It's a long life not to be doing something you love. 

You do not need to stay with a career path because that is what you studied, or because that's all you know. It's never too late to start again. 

Don't hold space for people who don't value you or understand you. The right people are out there, just waiting for you. You do not need to justify yourself to anyone. 

Not everyone out there will like you, and it's not your responsibility to understand why. Keep being you, I think you’re perfect the way you are.

Your value does not equal the number on the scales. That number has no correlation to size either. I have been three different sizes at 65kgs over different periods of time in my life, so this is definitely not something to hold negative space for with how you see yourself. Bodies are magical, and they should be celebrated, not scrutinized.

Your value isn't what others think of you, it's what YOU think of you. You are so clever, curious, smart, beautiful, kind and everything that is good in the world. Never worry about the negative things others think, it's irrelevant, and usually comes from a place of their own jealousy, desires or insecurity. 

You can be anything you want to be, and all I want for you in life, as your Mother, is for you to be happy, and know that I love you so fiercely, and I'll forever be proud to be your Mum.

Love, Mum